Like many people, the pandemic completely destroyed any sense of job security I possessed. I was labeled a “non-essential” employee so after working from home for a few months, I was laid off in June of 2020. I’m not going to go through the myriad of emotions I experienced during that time because I’m sure it’s similar to what many people who had like experiences felt. I couldn’t believe that I was having a difficult time finding a job when I have 3 degrees and my work history is impressive. I got tired of looking and said fuck it, I’ll work for myself. That’s right, I drank the entrepreneurial kool-aid. How so? -Well, I started my own Home Care Agency right before the pandemic so I really leaned into it when there was nothing else competing for my time and attention. Things were slow though, everyone was sheltering in place and afraid to have strangers come into their homes. So, I shifted my focus. I went back to school and received a certificate in Medicinal Plants from Cornell University. This led me to start my wellness brand where I produced home made, organic, cannabis infused edibles, skincare, and bath products. My latest venture is the very blog you’re reading.
My wellness brand did so well that I was invited to be a vendor at Chicago’s very first Pride in the Park festival. This was the beginning of the city opening back up and what better way to celebrate than at a huge festival with no masking requirements in the middle of Grant Park? LOL! I invited everyone I knew, I put my ventures over all my social media, sent out individual and group texts. I got crickets in return. My sister and my niece came to the festival to support. I’d offered free wristbands to everyone I invited. They were the only two that came. Don’t pull out the tiny violins because I was NOT surprised. I experienced the lack of support with my Homecare business so I had already developed tough skin from the disappointment in finding out that the people who knew me best, would support me the least.
Right now, I have close friends that if you ask them if they’ve read anything I’ve ever written, they’d either lie or say they just haven’t gotten around to it because they’re so busy. Yet the same energy you exert scrolling social media is equivalent to what it would take to access, read, and engage with my blog. They’ll share music, they’ll share restaurant recommendations, they’ll absolutely share some drama or gossip, will even go as far as to leave comments under The Shade Rooms posts but- no acknowledgment for me. Now I mean this when I say- I’M NOT MAD ABOUT IT! I promise I’m not, because I firmly believe everything makes sense in context and I have in fact figured it out. My friends and my family are not my target audience.
You might think that’s counterintuitive because they reap the benefits of my success. I have only ever wanted anything in this life to share with the people I love and care about. I don’t have a selfish bone in my body. However, I can’t expect me from them. I’m me. They’re them. I can’t garner the support from them because they don’t understand this version of me. Your people can’t support you because they can’t see past who you were to even make a concerted effort to get to know who you are. That’s the truth of the matter. How many times have you seen or heard about someone turning their life around but the only thing leading the conversation is how they used to be a scammer, or dealer, or user, or whatever! Now here’s my plea, if you do that to people- cut that shit out! You may not understand the calling placed on someones’ life but it’s not for you to judge and dismiss people in your ignorance or misunderstanding of it. Get rid of them boxes you put people in. It’s not your place, it’s never been your place!
My Good Judy- my Sissy Jas, and I are two peas in a pod. But people who don’t REALLY know me- cannot figure out how TF she and I are friends. Outside of my online persona, I’m a career woman. I have a Bachelor’s and two Master’s degrees…I’m 6 classes away from being Dr. such and such, I attend benefits, and galas, I’m a wine connoisseur, AND I like to shake my ass, and spin liquor bottles above my head, and I do pop ups, and I cuss like a sailor, and I’m healed, and I’m ain’t and I am constantly growing and evolving. Trying to figure me out will constantly have you confused so… don’t. Fuck with me where I’m at. Support what you enjoy. Ignore what you don’t. Don’t try and dim somebody’s light just because you know it shined a different way before. What Sza’s grandma say? Aw, okay.
I’m rambling but I said all of that to say, some people that knew you don’t want to know you and because of that, they can’t support you. Let that be okay! They aren’t your target audience so don’t market to them. If you find that your chest got a little tight while reading this expression of my feelings, this is your reminder that a hit dog will always holler and if it don’t apply, let it fly. Be blessed!
Heal Heaux- The Lifestyle & Wellness Blog 